Mustardland

by **dondy** » April 16th, 2025, 11:18 pm

Dealing with extreme political views here. Managed it without a row but wow it is depressing to hear some of it.

I am sitting here wondering where on earth such beliefs came from. Can only imagine some of it was there already but has been turbo boosted by the company people keep.

by **Simply_Fee** » April 16th, 2025, 9:10 pm

Dougie, I’m afraid that the insurance companies can be an absolute pain (in fact that probably holds true whatever the context) - my mother died aged 93 in Italy where death certificates don’t give the cause of death - she had two policies and both companies said they needed to know about the cause of death - one accepted “she was 93 and had dementia” but the other insisted on having something official from the Italian bureaucracy with cause of death (they said that they had to be assured that the deceased didn’t take their own life which would invalidate the insurance). My brother twisted the arm of the local doctor who had occasionally seen her to write something official which we then had to get translated here for them - we never really knew what her actual cause of death was (I think the chances are it was a stroke) but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t whatever was on the certificate. It kept the insurance company happy though.

by **dougie** » April 16th, 2025, 8:39 pm

Similarly I might have internet connection still in The Late's cave. We'll see. well if I don't post I won't have. Or I am marooned somewhere with the rail bus service having failed. So old and still all this adventure just attempting something simple. It's funny.

by **Pat Clifton** » April 16th, 2025, 8:29 pm

dougie wrote: ↑April 16th, 2025, 8:26 pm Brilliant! Did it work.

In a way. They finally took the hint and authorised the (modest) expenditure out of all the thousands of rent they were holding on their dead client's behalf.

by **dougie** » April 16th, 2025, 8:26 pm

Pat Clifton wrote: ↑April 16th, 2025, 8:17 pm After not hearing from them for several days I'd chae it, only to be told "We're struggling to contact your landlord." I suggested usinga Ouija board!

Brilliant! Did it work.

by **Pat Clifton** » April 16th, 2025, 8:17 pm

dougie wrote: ↑April 16th, 2025, 7:49 pm It's OK, I am channelling my inner Peggy Wooley which is quite fun. It was all a bit sudden which wasn't ideal but looking through his papers and stuff there was no obvious clue, blindingly obvious in retrospect just as when you see the picture on the jigsaw box. Some poxy insurance co for a max £500 (whoo in the big-time there) claim wants all sorts of stuff, letters from his GP, er isn't being dead with a stifficate to prove it enough? This stuff really is totally bonkers. I and da kids are so glad that he had such an easy death. Whether he knows or was aware I don't know. Well if he was we were there. I think it shocked what passes for 'nurses' these days, they were almost courteous that shit is another battle.

'Can you put him on the phone?', 'No, I haven't had the ashes back yet'. Some absolute corkers.

I really am happy on my own, I don't need a crowd.

Sorry droning on. Who else has rants? Apols whoever I have missed.

Dougie, I spent longer than you would think possible with a dead landlord. The agents were remarkably blasé about it. The only difficulty was whenever I had to report any issues. They're a big chain with everything centralised. The local office was aware of the situation but the central contact centre used an (out of date) database. After not hearing from them for several days I'd chae it, only to be told "We're struggling to contact your landlord." I suggested usinga Ouija board!

by **dougie** » April 16th, 2025, 7:56 pm

stolenkisses wrote: ↑April 14th, 2025, 10:57 pmThere's no cash or valuable antiques,

Ah, 'Valuable Antiques', a lot of amiably dotty neighbours over the years, one was totally convinced that she had a genuine 'Court Cupboard', I had no idea either, here's a clue

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1868398 ... f8133881cb

Max for a genuine Tudor one from a reputable dealer at the time was £5,000 which I won't sneeze at but won't pay for re-laying the moat. It was a copy of course and hideously ugly to my eye.

by **dougie** » April 16th, 2025, 7:49 pm

merrilily wrote: ↑April 15th, 2025, 8:37 am
Sorry your local PO staff are so rude, dougie, one more thing you don’t need.

It's OK, I am channelling my inner Peggy Wooley which is quite fun. It was all a bit sudden which wasn't ideal but looking through his papers and stuff there was no obvious clue, blindingly obvious in retrospect just as when you see the picture on the jigsaw box. Some poxy insurance co for a max £500 (whoo in the big-time there) claim wants all sorts of stuff, letters from his GP, er isn't being dead with a stifficate to prove it enough? This stuff really is totally bonkers. I and da kids are so glad that he had such an easy death. Whether he knows or was aware I don't know. Well if he was we were there. I think it shocked what passes for 'nurses' these days, they were almost courteous

that shit is another battle.

'Can you put him on the phone?', 'No, I haven't had the ashes back yet'. Some absolute corkers.

I really am happy on my own, I don't need a crowd.

Sorry droning on. Who else has rants? Apols whoever I have missed.

by **merrilily** » April 15th, 2025, 8:37 am

Specsavers claim to recycle https://www.specsavers.co.uk/glasses/recycling - I hope so cos I’ve got a bagful to take to my local branch.

Sorry your local PO staff are so rude, dougie, one more thing you don’t need.

Glad you’ve sorted a location for a key safe, stolenkisses, it’s bound to take a bit of getting used to. Being rational is overrated at times like these.

Best wishes to all Otherwisers going through it.

by **lili bolero** » April 15th, 2025, 8:06 am

stolenkisses wrote: ↑April 14th, 2025, 10:57 pm
I think most opticians still take old glasses don't they? I used to be in charge of collecting them in a previous office job, although I believe they no longer send them out to impoverished communities abroad as they used to, but rather break them up for parts/materials, which doesn't realise very much money for charity.

When I had a lot of spectacles to get rid of, I was lucky because the Optometry Department of the university was doing a project abroad somewhere, and wanted them.

by **stolenkisses** » April 14th, 2025, 10:57 pm

You're quite right, I've often wondered what we have that would be of interest to a burglar. There's no cash or valuable antiques, all my jewelry is more of the novelty kind, the tech devices are fairly ancient. The most expensive things, kitchen and bathroom upgrades, aren't portable or reusable.

I think most opticians still take old glasses don't they? I used to be in charge of collecting them in a previous office job, although I believe they no longer send them out to impoverished communities abroad as they used to, but rather break them up for parts/materials, which doesn't realise very much money for charity.

by **dougie** » April 14th, 2025, 9:39 pm

stolenkisses wrote: ↑April 14th, 2025, 9:03 pm Yes, maybe I've not been very rational!

I don't think any of us are at these times of crisis. Keep going sk, you are doing a tough job and doing it well. Um, not being rude but what do you have worth stealing. About zero in this house alas. Who is making us scaredy cats and why? What is the agenda they have>?

Another bonkers day in dougieland but I survived it.

Why are PO staff so expletive rude, is it part of the training? That total disdain for The Customer, well that's a certain way to encourage business.

Also went into an achingly posh optician who looked at me as though I was one of those dead things that the cat brings in, No we don't recycle spectacles'. Wahoo, more dumpage and declutterage and don't anyone tell me to recycle more and I am killing the planet. Nope. I don't have enough riches to send off a space rocket every ten mins, I can only do it every 90 mins (made that up for the dim, of course I haven't)

Anyway spectacles spectacular is going in the bin. Phew, another dumpage done.

My handwriting is improving with all this envelopes and lists, I can almost keep it um almost legible now.

Bumble on everyone, we can grumble through everything.

by **stolenkisses** » April 14th, 2025, 9:03 pm

Yes, maybe I've not been very rational! Anyway I consulted today with the Marie Curie nurse and the District Nurse and we have established a suitable site for the keysafe.

And I'd like to extend grateful thanks to a very kind MLer for a lovely gesture of support this afternoon - they know who they are!

by **Simply_Fee** » April 13th, 2025, 9:13 am

Dunlurkin NL wrote: ↑April 13th, 2025, 6:08 am Perhaps one compromise would be to install a Ring-type video doorbell with a good view of anyone operating the key safe.

That is my arrangement (key safe because the door blows to and there is also a risk of being locked out and because it means my children don’t need to have the spare keys which they where they’ve put) - it has the advantage as well that you can talk to people on your doorstep via the video doorbell when you are out and they turn up having forgotten the code for the safe.

by **Dunlurkin NL** » April 13th, 2025, 6:08 am

Key safe vs unlocked door. Hmm. I think I'd go for the former.

Being in full view can have its advantages too as ne'erdowells may also feel uncomfortable. Perhaps one compromise would be to install a Ring-type video doorbell with a good view of anyone operating the key safe.

Dunlurkin

by **virtual_jan** » April 13th, 2025, 12:10 am

stolenkisses wrote: ↑April 12th, 2025, 10:56 pm Replying to virtual jan, Our houses are new build with very little privacy at the front, no hedges or big plants, or a railing to fix the keysafe to. Even round the back we're overlooked by five other gardens. I know there's a pin number but I'm a bit of a security fusspot. I know it's a lot more crucial for those living alone.

It's understandable that you're not feeling confident about the key safe. I hope you will be able to find a place to site it that you're comfortable with.

We would have found it impossible to manage without it, though. Four care calls a day, nurses etc plus the careline people had the code too. Life was restricted enough but if I'd had to be there all the time to let people in I would have lost the plot.

by **dondy** » April 12th, 2025, 10:56 pm

Joint accounts are a lot easier to pass on than individual ones and stuff does not suddenly stop getting paid.

Of course you have to feel ok with having one.

by **stolenkisses** » April 12th, 2025, 10:56 pm

dougie wrote: ↑April 12th, 2025, 9:26 pm You aren't the first. Don't beat yourself up about it.

Thank you for your kind posts dougie.

The keysafe isn't for me, but for any number of agencies that might need access to Mr sk if he needs help and I'm not there for some reason. Eg he has a thing called Care Line, where he can press a button round his neck if he falls or has an emergency. Same for the daily carers, District Nurses or emergency services.

Replying to virtual jan, Our houses are new build with very little privacy at the front, no hedges or big plants, or a railing to fix the keysafe to. Even round the back we're overlooked by five other gardens. I know there's a pin number but I'm a bit of a security fusspot. I know it's a lot more crucial for those living alone.

We're all different of course. I'm really not a natural carer, but paperwork doesn't bother me in the slightest, I've been a bureaucrat all my working life. It always impresses me how nurses take the gritty realities in their stride.

The District Nurse eventually arrived after 4pm and was very efficient, sorted the mechanical difficulty single handed. Finally I could dash out to the shop, and I left the door unlocked for the carers.

by **dougie** » April 12th, 2025, 9:26 pm

stolenkisses wrote: ↑April 12th, 2025, 3:49 pm This whole experience has brought home to me that I have spent much of my life tiptoeing around men's feelings, if I'm honest. A bit late in life to discover this!

You aren't the first. Don't beat yourself up about it.

by **dougie** » April 12th, 2025, 9:23 pm

stolenkisses wrote: ↑April 12th, 2025, 1:16 pm
This home nursing lark is exhausting, constant phone calls to people who don't pick up or respond to messages (have I called the right person?) long periods of waiting in for people who don't arrive when they say they will, mad dashes around the shops when I get a chance, pharmacists who don't stock prescription drugs, encouraging OH to take pills, food, liquids, load after load of washing... Then sinking exhausted into bed.

It is. It's a great con. Nursing was hard work IME when I was one* and there was a whole back-up team of kitchens, laundry, pharmacy, housekeeping, nursing assistants, porters, cleaners, ward admin, x-ray, pathology and so many I have forgotten.

*anyway there were far too many nurses and all the other cogs in the mighty wheel so we were given our marching orders. It's going awfully well isn't it. If I can help please say. And it's OK to say 'I Can't Do This Any More'.

Have a [hug] sk. It's the pits.

by **dougie** » April 12th, 2025, 9:11 pm

stolenkisses wrote: ↑April 12th, 2025, 7:05 pm
I have got a portable key safe but I can't seem to get advice about the best location for it. It feels a bit insecure tbh.

I'm so sorry sk, I have missed your dilemma, do you need a spare key somewhere? What sort of accommodation do you live in? Flat? House? Ancestral palace. Are you prone to shutting yourself out (I do that all the time)?
Well I would begin with Nice neighbour who is usually at home and not gallivanting around the world all the time.

If I keep shutting myself out as I head to the communal bins (what me be that silly? How dare you suggest it) a notice saying KEY by the door reminds me. I find habit a very useful aid. Nope not going gaga on the key stuff, it's the habit of a lifetime. I have probably locked myself out of everywhere.

by **virtual_jan** » April 12th, 2025, 9:11 pm

dougie wrote: ↑April 12th, 2025, 8:30 pm No joint accounts with The Late. The banks are utterly...you decide your own expletive. I have no idea why but today as well as something important (recorded delivery, original copy of the will I think) I received some booklet offering hearing aids, visual aids and all manner of things, er why? My eyes are no worse, in fact brilliant after the cataract ops, nor are my ears, I spend most of my time wearing ear defenders there is so much noise around me. Baffling.

I don't know when that was, The Banks recognise tough times ahead and there are all those mistresses and yachts to be paid for so are being quite shitty. It certainly is baffling. For some sort of pension thing I have to list the adult children and their children (if any). Why?

Oh bad luck I assumed you were asking because you had a joint account.
The problem is there doesn't seem to be hard and fast rules. Mum's bank were happy to release funds as soon as I had the death certificate but I'm equally aware that other banks are not happy to do that.

Not sure what the pension thing is about unless it's to do with a statement of wish? For example, with my work pension scheme I have my son named to receive the lump sum payment due on my death.

Keep trundling on dougie, it's all we can do

by **dougie** » April 12th, 2025, 8:30 pm

virtual_jan wrote: ↑April 12th, 2025, 5:43 pm Dougie a joint account should just be changed to a sole account on production of the death certificate.

No joint accounts with The Late. The banks are utterly...you decide your own expletive. I have no idea why but today as well as something important (recorded delivery, original copy of the will I think) I received some booklet offering hearing aids, visual aids and all manner of things, er why? My eyes are no worse, in fact brilliant after the cataract ops, nor are my ears, I spend most of my time wearing ear defenders there is so much noise around me. Baffling.

Sympathy re the paperwork. The bureaucracy is at times utterly baffling isn't it. And, in my experience, often in inverse proportion to the amount of money involved. Multiple thousands released by a bank just by uploading the death certificate yet

I don't know when that was, The Banks recognise tough times ahead and there are all those mistresses and yachts to be paid for so are being quite shitty. It certainly is baffling. For some sort of pension thing I have to list the adult children and their children (if any). Why?

Grant of Probate needed for a £5 premium bond.

by **virtual_jan** » April 12th, 2025, 8:07 pm

Yes it can be tricky.
We had ours between the bay window and the porch and I stood a tall shrub in a pot in front to conceal it a bit. To be fair, in the seven years we used it, there was never a problem. The worst thing that happened keywise was when the overnight carer from the private agency went off with mum's keys at 7am, and put her own in the keysafe so the breakfast call couldn't get in. I was away and mum was by that point unable to get up. I got a local friend who had keys to run round with them.

by **stolenkisses** » April 12th, 2025, 7:05 pm

virtual_jan wrote: ↑April 12th, 2025, 5:23 pm Thinking of you sk. Have you got a keysafe? It can be helpful so long as the correct people get given the code of course

Thank you for all the kind thoughts.

I have got a portable key safe but I can't seem to get advice about the best location for it. It feels a bit insecure tbh.

Mustardland

Otherwise - 10-04-25

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